Angel

This piece is a dedication to my God Father Who died a few years ago.

I watched you lay there as if nothing changed

As if things were not so strange

As if everything was just the same

I watched you lay there being sucked out of your normal ways

Being trapped in an abnormal haze

But I still watched you lay there

As we prayed

But it felt like God wasn’t listening

 

I watched you lay there

As you cracked jokes

as if I couldn’t see right past that glimpse of happiness on your face

To be honest I didn’t even want to come and see you that day, that way

In that state

But I still watched you lay there anyway

I still saw you as more than the man I will ever get the chance to be

I still saw you as a king even though you only ever bowed down to one

And you were preparing to take one more bow

You were getting ready to take one more trip only this time going further than ever before

I have never been so happy for you and yet so pissed at the same time

 

Because you promised

You were supposed to be there on June 7th

We planned it for years

But Instead I watched you lay there

I flashbacked to 17 years of you being here right by my side

You know you were a thorn there sometimes

Because you were the only person I knew that could be as goofy as I

You knew how to impress smiles on people’s faces

And whether they wanted it or not you were always unapologetic

You a warrior that always carried his terrible towel of armor

One thing we were never able to quite see eye to eye on

 

You knew God better than anyone else did

Sometimes I thought you two were best friends

Which is why on March 6th 2013 I questioned God about how he could possibly bring you to your end

In my eyes You did everything right but still

I was forced to watch you lay there

In that bed of comfort

that might as well have had a big sign on it saying death

It is funny how nice doctors are once they realize your body is about to get evicted

but they make the pain so “manageable” as if you don’t know

But see my God dad is smarter than that he already somehow knew that he was on death row

I saw it in your eyes that day

Yet all you were asking for was some Kentucky Fried Chicken to hold and a drink that was cold

 

Those damn jokes again

 

And then you walked right out of my life

It was kind of like a movie when I got that call you know

I fell to my knees and dropped the phone, I was home and by that point so were you

I had no clue what to do so I cried and screamed

I cried because you were gone

And all a God father is is the second father your mother gets to choose

So when you left my father die

The second thing I did was I screemed to the top of my lungs at God because you gave me this dad and took him away from me

You ripped out a crucial piece of my heart

I never even got to ask him so many questions

 

Like how do I get to be a man like you

How do you see the world for what it is but still wake up and smile

And most importantly

How is it that you trust God

While still wearing a blind fold on your face

 

 

But God through my anger I still thank you anyway

Because I got to watch hime lay there

I got to say good-bye

I just wished that I knew I was saying hello to an Angel


 

-Dedicated to My God Father-

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1 Comment on Angel

  1. I’m truly pleased to find this website, just what I was looking for.
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    Like

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