Your CoCo Chanel, Mademoiselle

Gabrielle “CoCo” Chanel is a famous designer, and founder of all things Chanel. Her brand represents something feminine, expensive, that has class, and taste. It reminds me of our “purse” aka our most expensive body part, our vagina.


 

Tip: To clear things up before you start to read I like to refer to the vagina as “her”, “she”, “CoCo Chanel”, or ”purse”. Try not to get confused. Also, remember I’m no expert this is just information I’ve gathered from your local OB/GYN, and the ever fabulous WebMd.

There’s no better time like the present to discuss some important things concerning our CoCo Chanel purses. Certain things should be taken to your doctor, other things, can be taken care right from your dorm room. Firstly, you should know “she” is naturally acidic, naturally moist, and naturally filled with bacteria — all providing her with the necessary tools to stay healthy. Simple, everyday things– such as a healthy diet keep her quality top notch, but here are some other important tips to have your CoCo Chanel looking and feeling as expensive as it is.

1.Drink more water – Your purse is a moist, warm environment and similar to your mouth, loves to stay hydrated. Think about it, the more water you drink, the less you’ll have bad breath. Same goes for your purse.

2. Now this next one may seem like a no brainer. You guessed it, Keep your purse clean. The longer you let dirt, sweat and bacteria pile up in your purse the more it will stink, and the less healthy it will be.

  • Avoid perfumed or scented soaps: It may cause an imbalance in your pH levels which can cause irritation.
  • Scrub gently with a rag.
  • Wash more than once a day when on your period.

3. Stop with this “Eat Pineapples” nonsense! Would you put pineapples in your Chanel purse as an “air freshener”? With that being said, what you eat may affect her smell and secretions, but in the most minuscule way possible. This whole “Eat Pineapples” thing is not even scientifically proven!

4. To avoid UTIs:

  • Drink more Cranberry Juice
  • Remove tampons before you pee
  • Stay hydrated

5. Keep her dry: Your CoCo Chanel is already moist as it is. The warmer you keep her the more the natural bacteria inside her will grow. Most times this leads to a yeast infection.

  • Avoid wearing tight fitting pants
  • Try cotton underwear
  • Change from wet workout clothes as quickly as possible
  • Try eating more yogurt (only works for some)
  • Abstain from/Have safe sex: It is my belief that only three people in this world should handle your purse. You, you doctor, and your man who occasionally carries it for you. You don’t have everybody’s hands in your purse, and the same goes with this. Try not to let too many people into your CoCo Chanel. Besides, only few can really afford its worth.
  • Use protection! Nothing damages her more than STDs and STIs, so be safe.

I really hope this helps. Remember you are given one purse. Try and take care of it ladies, it is very expensive!

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About miamighty (6 Articles)
Coming from the hustle and bustle of the streets in Brooklyn, New York, you can find her looking for the quiet places around campus. Majoring in Biobehavioral Health and Minoring in Biology she aspires to be a talented OB/GYN. Her hustle comes from Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you…plans to give you hope and a future”. Her pastimes consist of greasing her roots after her newly perfected flat twist out or connecting with her Jamaican roots back home. An ardent lover of her community she is determined to take her knowledge and love for melanin to better her community back home and here at Penn State.

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