This is for my religious/spiritual and non-religious/spiritual friends alike; for my friends who are at the point in their relationship where sex has become a nerve-wracking topic of conversation. So, whatever your reason for waiting is, whether it be marriage, your 22nd birthday, or even until you heal from a previous relationship. It’s time to get gutsy and tell your S.O. “I’m waiting.”
Set the scene: You’re in three months, and you really like this dude. You’re in his room and things start to get hot and heavy. You stop. He looks at you with a concerned face and asks, “What’s wrong?” Oh no! Now what do you do?
STOP. Let’s take this back a couple weeks ago. I’m going to give you tips on how to NOT end up in that position. Ok, we’re right around the time when conversations were getting intimate, and you know for a fact you were feelin’ him. You already know his favorite songs, his dreams and aspirations, and you have gone out a few times. You like him, but you’re not in so deep that if you tell him you’re afraid you’ll “scare” him a way.
Most times, you can wait for an opening, however sometimes you have to gently force the topic to come up. What does an opening sound like? You know the moment when he slips in a dirty comment “Watch when I see you, it’s going down *insert winky face*”, “So what we doing tonight?”.. That’s the opening! Say “Babe, Baby, or Boo, there’s something we should talk about..” just lay it on him. You can tell him why you’re waiting, and how far you’re willing to go. Remind him that you like him, but respect his decision to stay or go. It is still early in the relationship, so if he does decide to leave you’re not left devastated.
There’s no easy way to say it, and it is NEVER good to sugar coat it. Lines can get blurred, and then crossed.
Be careful. Here are some tips to make sure you and Lover Boy have a clear understanding.
TIP 01: Remember Why You Want to Wait: Remember your faith, God says you are precious. He has asked you to remain sexually pure for a number of reasons.
- It keeps your heart safe. Despite popular belief there’s a lot more security in marriage. You have someone who has gone through the necessary steps to show you, you are worth it!
- It keeps your body, His temple, safe. Meaning you are free from risk of diseases/infections.
- It keeps you sane.
TIP 02: You Are Worth It: Psalm 139:14 – You are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made. The best secrets are the ones that are kept hidden. You are one juicy secret! Since I know you’re in college and you’ve made it this far, I want to personally say I’m proud of you. For those of you that have stumbled and are back on track, much like myself, don’t let your hard work go to waste. There are very few who can say to their husband’s “I waited for you”. One day, you will find a man who deserves it, which leads me to my third tip.
TIP 03: The right boy will wait! There are many out there who WILL wait for you. I know, I know it seems like far stretch on a college campus, but remember the best secrets are the ones that are kept hidden, you just have to find him.